Why Weasels Suck
by XxpwnagexX
Summary: An Itachi bashing parody. So if you're a fangirlboything, don't bother reading it. Please R&R and no flames! Rated just to be safe.
1. Of Pocky and Stupidity

**A/N: Hi everyone! I have yet, another parody, but this time it's Itachi-centric, 'cause he had it coming. I'd like to thank Jabba for suggesting this! He/she gave me all of the ideas, so yeah, Jabba gets all the credit.**

**Oh and honestly, I have no clue what Pocky is, is it like a Rice Krispy or Rice Cakes? I've read a story describing Pocky and that's what it sounded like. Can someone explain?**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would this be a fanfiction? I think not.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy chapter 1!**

_Chapter 1: Of Pocky and Stupidity_

_"I've got it!" _Sasuke exclaimed in his mind, _"I'll build a giant hill of Pocky and eat them one by one so Itachi dies of rage!"_ He then began to build his wonderful trap.

_-Hours Later-_

"My Pocky senses are tingling!" Itachi exclaimed in the Akatsuki hideout, "I must get there!" He then used some random teleportation jutsu I made up to get to Sasuke's giant hill of Pocky.

Itachi was in shock when he saw Sasuke and the giant hill of Pocky, but he was astounded when he found his precious Pocky being eaten before his eyes by his own little brother that couldn't even beat him in what was practically a death match.

"Foolish little brother, I will get that Pocky! I'll show you!" he said, as he began to eat the Pocky one by one from the bottom, shortening the hill. Sasuke made a girly scream. But eventually, Itachi passed out from all the Pocky and Sasuke killed him, letting out an extremely sexy triumphant smile.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it's so short, I did my best! Anyways, please R&R! **

**That's all for now!**


	2. The Sugar Eating Contest

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in like, a million years. I had, and still have, severe writer's block. So I'd appreciate any ideas you send me, because otherwise I can't make new chapters.**

**However, thanks to Ninja of the Mist, I am able to make another chapter. So I'll give… oh ⅓ of the credit to her. Because she gave me the idea. Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer: It's called FAN-fiction for a reason.**

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 2!**

_Chapter 2: The Sugar Eating Contest_

Several months later after Itachi fell for Sasuke's obvious trap, after all his wounds have healed (But left some pretty ugly scars. Thank god for the Akatsuki cloaks), Sasuke thought of another plan to kill his elder brother.

_"I'll challenge him to a sugar eating contest… muahahahahahahahaha!" _That evil plan, accompanied by a laugh of evilness was brought to you by Inner Sasuke and Inner Self & co. **(Redundancy intended.)**

So after performing some random teleportation jutsu I made up, Sasuke arrived at the Akatsuki hideout. Trust me, it wasn't a pretty sight. It looked like a cave that someone threw a party and everyone there got drunk and puked all over the place, and the vomit hardened into wall paper. (Before the Akatsuki got there. They decided to keep it that way, because hey, it's free wallpaper.) It also reeked of dirty diapers. Sasuke smirked, showing his struggle to hold back a laugh, as he thought, _"Oh yeah, he never was able to become potty-trained."_

"ITACHI! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SUGAR EATING CONTEST!"

"Okay, rules?"

"Whoever finishes their giant bag of sugar first wins."

"Mkay."

Sasuke was gulping down sugar like there was no tomorrow. However, Itachi just stood there. _"Bwahahaha… he'll be too hyper to defeat me in battle! Besides, awesome people don't eat sugar." _**(Then how come you're not eating some?)**

The younger sibling paused. "How come you're not eating you're sugar? You'll definitely lose!" Sasuke was already ¾ done with his bag.

"Because I'm too cool to eat sugar." Itachi said, clearly not telling him his secret plan.

After Sasuke was done with his sugar, Itachi attacked him. However, Sasuke quickly dodged it and kicked butt. "Ha ha! See why you should've eaten your bag? Now you will lose twice in one day!"

_"Oh crap… I never knew he got like that when he had that much sugar!"_ Shortly after this thought, he remembered one time he got like that when Sasuke was five.

Afterwards, Sasuke killed Itachi.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for the shortness, it was the best I could do. Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


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